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I needed about three extra days off after the holiday this weekend. I’m still confused why we didn’t get Tuesday off? That’s just cruel. 
So I feel like shit. Straight-up, doggy-doo. I ate like crap this weekend, drank too much wedding wine and slept way too little. Stand alone, each of those would be extremely detrimental to my sensitive self. Combined? Hell. I feel like I’m still dying. That’s sometimes the sucky thing about eating well, consistently. Once you jump ship for a hot second, it’s a million times worse than if you kinda-sorta teetered on eating well and eating crappy. It’s because my body isn’t dang used to it!! Want to hear all the crap I ate? I’m cringing as I type this…
  • Scotcheroos (I did make these gluten and dairy free — but lots of sugar and peanut butter… more on that later)
  • Blue Sky Organic Root Beer (I felt like a crack head drinking this)
  • Wine. Vodka. Shots. x 10
  • Tacos 
  • Chips and salsa 
  • Chocolate 
That’s pretty much the jist. Lot’s of sugar. Lots of crappy corn products. Lots of alcohol. And now my body is saying, GOODBYE. 
Side bar: A gym friend asked me yesterday if “I’ve recovered.” Psh, the fitness-enthusiast in me tried to jog my memory to the last shitty workout I did to give some sort of sound feedback as to why/why not I recovered from the last workout we did together….. nothing. So, of course I awkwardly danced a little while singing, “whaat do you meeean” — of which he responded, “Saturday night, are you recovered from Saturday night?” OH DAYUM. Nothing like when my drinking habits get twisted with my fitness habits. #MarathonOfShots #NotProud 
As soon as I eat or drink something my body doesn’t like, I’m immediately aware. Usually it starts with getting extremely bloated and just all-over uncomfortable. My skin will eventually get a little rough and reactive. I don’t sleep the best (because, sugar), I become drowsy, headachey and moody. And although I know all this will happen, I still get sucked to the dark side. Whhhhhy. Interestingly enough, this time around I’ve been having some lower abdominal pains. Very dull. Nothing super painful or serious. But annoying as all get out. And I think there are two things to blame: 1. SUPER dehydrated 2. I think I’m slightly intolerant to peanut butter!! Maybe. I’m not sure. I feel like hell after I ate 2 pounds of it this weekend … which probably is the culprit right there. Not the peanut butter….two pounds of anything. Because … go big or go home, yeah?
What causes bloat?
The simple truth. Bloat is caused by gas. Now, it may not be the gas we’re all accustomed too (although some is). The gas I’m referring to is a little deeper. 
When we eat food, we rely on our stomach juices to churn and burn. This is what digestion is made of. The ability for our stomach and intestines to break down what we eat, properly transport those nutrients and then dispose of all other materials. Often times, that’s not the case.  Here’s what can happen, more simply put:
  1. We consume large amounts of carbohydrates/sugar + low levels of HCL/stomach juices and enzymes = carbohydrates/sugar not being digested quickly enough, thus sitting in our stomachs and fermenting … which, causes GAS,
  2. We consume poor quality ingredients = assault on our digestive system = putrefaction of fats, rancidity of proteins and the possibly of these materials not being properly broken down and passing through our intestinal walls (at sizes that are way too big!) This too causes the body to bloat
  3. Imbalances of gut bacteria — caused by poor diet 
So what do we do? This is what I did …plan the ish outta my life, plus some good ole’ research and learning…
Foods I incorporated this week to banish the bloat :
  • WATER 
  • Fruits and veggies – lots of berries and greens
  • Probiotics – still searching for a good, whole supplement, but always fall back to some good ole’ kombucha
  • Protein – clean, no fuss protein
What I still need to start adding:
  • Bone broth — for extra minerals that have been depleted (mineral tip: himilayan pink sea salt contains 80-something trace minerals and enzymes that your body needs)
  • Herbs and spices — I don’t cook with a lot of extra garnishes. This is my new goal. Mark my word.
  • Raw dairy — I can’t do raw dairy because of allergies, but they have a lot of good enzymes
Foods to eliminate:
  • Sugar and sweetened foods — you eat ONE sweet and you want SEVENTY more. I swear. All I’ve been craving is sweets since I had a few this weekend #addict
  • Most dairy products — well, because most are laden with some sugars and modern-day manufacturing removes the good enzymes that are found in raw, unadulterated dairy products
  • Refined grains — peace out, tacos and corn chips. Also remove: oats, corn, wheat and gluten as they tend to be harder for us to digest
  • Legumes — because, beans. 
  • Carbonated drinks — they easily ferment in the gut, contribute to candida and promote inflammation 
This is how I go about it:
  1. Pick TWO days to cook — I usually cook Sunday/Thursday
  2. Proteins
    • I throw a whole chicken in the crock pot on Sunday, turn it to low and fall asleep. EASY. 
    • I cook up some grass-fed beef, sprinkled with whatever seasonings or spices I’m feelingUntitled
    • Boil about 5 eggs for snacks 
    • Buy 2-3 EPIC bars for when I’m commuting between clients (and I’m starting to get hangry for dinner)
  3. Greens
    • I will either blanch or roast a head or two of broccoli and some green beans, usually drizzled with coconut oil and pink sea salt
    • I try to eat arugula (or other leafy green) two times a day, usually with breakfast and lunch
    • This week I’ve been sipping on some Suja Super Greens for added benefit
  4. Starchy carbohydrates & Fruit
    • Half sweet potato in the morning
    • Green apple or banana as a mid-afternoon snack
    • Either plantains or sweet potato again in the evening after my workout
  5. Fats
    • Avocados are eaten at least twice a day
    • Coconut oil is always used to cook my eggs in 
    • Sometimes I’ll drizzle a little EVOO over my veggies
    • Coconut milk added to my morning coffee
  6. Water — trying to guzzle this stuff down like a crazy person. Shooting for about 80-90 oz.  


Questions? Need some help? Contact me, homies. 

Be well,



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